Thou shalt not:

• Slow down on the approach slip road / ramp to the DC. This is designed for acceleration to DC speeds, & is a safety measure. Why are you on a DC if you want to drive slowly?

• Tailgate anything you have no intention of overtaking (this applies even more on single carriageways roads).

• Move into the right hand lane, filling the safety gap the person behind has left for themselves, often without indication. Often leads to next one:

• Refuse to move from the right hand lane while driving at 95 kph, necessitating "undertaking".

• Look completely bemused while this dangerous but now very necessary manoeuvre is being accomplished.

• Drive in echelon with any other vehicle, sitting right on their blind-spot (the pedal on the right is the accelerator).

• Impose the speed limit on anyone else via your driving style (please join the Guards if you feel the need to police).

Others:

• These people need to learn to judge both speed and distance to avoid:
• This one drives me crazy: Moron pulls out from a side road into the tiniest of gaps as if he is in a incredibleblinding hurry, & then proceeds as if he has all the time in the world (i.e. 40 kph). This one drives me crazy.

• Merely slapping on an indicator does not automatically give you the right of way. Women drivers are particularly guilty of this one, as if their mere condescension to indicate gives them automatic precedence.

• Do not give up your right of way on the grounds of courteous driving if the resultant pile-up will ruin everyone's day. i.e. slam on the anchors to let someone out of a side road. This activity is very much en vogue in rural areas & in provincial towns.

Motorways:

If you have an "L"-plate (& most of you seem to), you are not wanted here; find another route to visit your lovely Mayo mammy. AA Ireland has an "avoid motorways" option for a reason.

West Link Toll, aka "Please remove your dick from my ass". Irish Independent Oct 06; Irish Independent Nov 04 & again: Irish Independent Sept 07


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