• Dyslexic "L-plate", as illustrated: . If they are not capable of spotting their error, how can they read junction road signs correctly?

• Padre Pio sticker - a nice chap, recently sainted, shame about his fan club's standard of driving.

• Any evidence of a high-visibility vest within a car.

• Milk-white elbow sticking out from driver's side.

• Milk-white arm flopping out of driver's side.

• Breast Awareness loop (believe me if I was anymore breast aware, I'd rear-end you...)

• Anything with a Wicklow or Clare plate. It must be the isolation, bless...

• Twin Munster rugby flags; missing chromosome on wheels.

Drink driving (RTE News Aug 07):

I don't agree with this practice for the following reasons:

1. Irish in-duh-viduals are none too clever at this driving malarky stone cold sober.

2. Venturing onto the road in your second biggest life expenditure & facing the "unique challenges" of Irish motoring, undoubtedly requires a full set of faculties to return alive.

3. It increases your chances of having to deal with some roundy-faced culchie fresh out of Templemore with singular ideas regarding law enforcement.

4. Getting around being done will involve lining the pockets of some slimy ambulance-chaser: Irish Examiner April 06

5. You'll spill it, cause you're driving a manual.



Next